feeling rough, health problems and social anxiety

I have been feeling really rough lately and it's starting to effect everyday life.
Today I went down to A&E with stomach pains but because I've got previous with stomach pains and stomach problems (endrometriosis) they told me there was nothing they could do I would have to struggle to get an appointment at my GP's to be sent back to the gyne at the hospital, whats so frustrating is that the department that i need to see is one that A&E can't refer you to, you have to go through a lengthy process of doctors appointments and waiting just to get where you need to go. I have been so tired as well but am having so much trouble getting to sleep, most nights i'm up all night and going to bed around 7 for a couple of hours.


I have suffered with endrometriosis since I was 11/12 when i started my period. I had heavy periods and periods that lasted for weeks some times a month or more. The pain I have suffered because of my endrometriosis is to the extreme it's so debilitating at times and although I am currently on the neplexton implant to help treat and prevent the endrometriosis it seems that the treatment isn't slowing down the process as much as it should be. In October of this year I had an operation to laser my endrometriosis this is the second endrometriosis operation, the first of which was when I was around 15/16. Last year I had an ovarian cyst removed which they believe is linked to my endrometriosis. 
Endrometriosis is where the tissue that lines the womb grows outside of it. Endrometriosis is a long term chronic disease the symptoms include painful heavy periods, pain in the lower abdomen,pelvis or lower back, pain during sex, bleeding between periods and difficulty getting pregnant. The only way to diagnosis endrometriosis is through a surgical examination a laparoscopy which if endrometriosis is present can be treated by laser treatment.
endrometriosis is treated by painkillers and hormone medication, there is no known cure for endrometriosis.

I also suffer with social anxiety and depression.social anxiety is a persistant and overwhelming fear of social situations.
 I have always been called shy or quiet but I have since learned that i'm not just shy and quiet it's actually alot more complicated that that. During secondary school I was hardly there due to my health problems so it was easy to pass over my social anxiety. When I started college things became really difficult for me and I started to struggle sevearly with everyday life. Every morning my stomach would churn, i'd feel sick, have a upset stomach, shake and even had a panic attack at the fact I would be going to college that day. College was one of the most difficult things in my life at that time. I would hardly make it through the entire three days as I couldn't cope, one of the hardest things for me at this time was admitting to my family what was going on as I was hiding it from them, trying to explain to people who don't suffer from social anxiety is incredibly hard as they could not understand what I was going through. For a while they dismissed what I was telling them which actually led to a couple of breakdowns, where I would mentally collapse from the strain of going through everything alone. After one hard breakdown after a terrible day at college where I was called out by my teacher for being quiet, not speaking out, not being able to answer questions asked to me it was so hard to go through. After this we made an appointment with my GP to talk through what was going on.
I was giving medication to help my anxiety and the depression. The college unfortunately didn't understand the diagnosis and what it meant, I had to drop out of my college education as I could not cope and was not getting the support I needed.
Now I am still struggling with my social anxiety and trying to get through it.
social situations that affect me are:
speaking to people I don't know
meeting strangers
speaking on the phone
eating in public
using public restrooms
crowded rooms/ shopping centers/ shops
walking down the road on my own
public speaking 
going to social gatherings
being watched while doing something

useful links
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Endometriosis/Pages/Introduction.aspx
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-anxiety/Pages/Social-anxiety.aspx
http://www.social-anxiety.org.uk/

Youtube videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-iNOFD27G4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjuk3WMZByo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAbI93RmP7k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVft4hBoEvQ

If anyone reading this is going through the same things please know you are not alone and there are always people to talk to.

Amazing christmas family time day two

Yesterday we had an early Christmas with my nephew and his mum and dad.

The front room was filled with presents and when opened toys. He got some really amazing toys that he loved and a couple that were just massive in size.
One of the great things about having a child around at Christmas is that it makes it really exciting and magical.

A small amount of the his presents

While he was here as background we had Christmas movies on it was so amazing to see his face light up at the magic of Santa and his reindeer.
From me he mostly got books because nanny, granddad, mum and dad were all getting him big toys so i didn't want to get even more toys.
He got a massive outdoor monster truck, a big car transporter with cars, cars, new trainers, a paw patrol sketch pad and a paw patroller lorry.

I received a three owl ornaments from my nephew and his mum and i absolutely love them.
My nephew was so funny when it came to his dad opening his presents the second he started my nephew would tell him what was inside.

hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil owl ornaments

Something that was really nice was the Christmas card from my nephew he had done some artwork at school and they had it made into Christmas cards. i think it;s such a great idea and so personal, something that can be kept and saved.

As a surprise present for his parents he decorated Christmas biscuits and gave them to them and he was so pleased with himself when the said they loved them.

after dinner for desert we had some Christmas tree chocolate chip sponge cake which my nephew devoured in seconds.

Christmas is probably my favourite time of the year and to get to spend it with my nephew it just the cherry on the top it was so much fun and at the end of the day he didn't want to go home which is always a good sign that he's enjoyed himself.

All photos are mine.

Amazing christmas family time day one

Today my nephew who's three came over today and it feels like every time i see him he's grown up immensely. He is such a bundle of happiness and joy, we spent today watching Doc McStuffins, making amazing creations out of play dough, making and flying paper planes, painting and decorating Christmas biscuits.


At the moment Doc McStuffins is one of his favourite things to watch when he comes over to our house. Doc is on as background most of the time while we are doing our activities.
I brought a pack of decorate Christmas biscuits for him to do the other day from Iceland, and he had the greatest time decorating them. He was allowed to pick the type of icing he wanted on his biscuits and had a great selection of sprinkles ( quite a few of which ended up on the floor). We decided that because he is coming over again tomorrow for a early Christmas that he wanted to save most of them to share with his mum and dad ( he came over alone today as his mum wanted to wrap presents) as special presents for them.

Last time he came over I brought him a couple of pots of play dough which he LOVES. He also has a collection of cutters. 

 Towards the end of him being here he found one of his uncles paper planes and oh my god he had the greatest time playing with it and making his own. Every time he made it fly the happiness and excitement from the fact he did it was amazing to see.

I am so looking forward to the early Christmas to see him opening presents (which we told him that the reason the presents are here early is that Santa's sleigh gets too heavy so he had to drop some of this off early at nanny's house) as it's probably the first time he actually understands what to do. We are also having a Christmas dinner which everyone is looking forward to.


Tomorrows activities will be up tomorrow.

Books I've read and loved this year in photos

These are the books that I've read this year and loved.
(All photos are my own. Instagram Tracey_Louise_phillips)

These are the books I've loved this year.

What books have you loved reading this year?

If you have any book suggestions for me to read please let me know in the comments.☺

Reason why I haven't been blogging

I have been having some health problems that I've been struggling with and haven't really felt ready to share. Now at this currently moment things are settling down and I have really been missing blogging so I'm going to try and get back into it.
I have suffered with endrometrosis since I was about 13 and over the course of the years I've had to have operations to help deal with the symptoms, the year my endrometrosis has been playing up and I had to have an operation and laser treatment. I also suffer with social anxiety and depression and as you can imagine while I've been going through doctors appointments and hospital appointments and not feeling good had spiked my depression and anxiety and I was struggling. Now although there are a few other health problems that need to be investigated I'm feeling the best I've felt in a very long time.
I feel this is important for me to share, I know alot of people suffer from health problems, anxiety and depression and that sometimes it feels like your the only one in the world that's feeling the way you do, I think one of the reasons for this is it's not regularly talked about one of the biggest things that helped me was hearing zoella (Zoe sugg) talk about her suffering with anxiety and reading the comments on her video really helped me realize that I'm not alone and that there are people out there who understand.


so this is just a little note explaining why I've been away and that now I'm going to try my hardest to be back blogging.






www.youtube.com/zoella
www.youtube.com/morezoella